Dear souls, I am so glad you’re here today. I hope you’ve had a “good” week (whatever that means- I guess that the universe is lining up with your preferences?) and are feeling well. Are you taking good care of yourself? As good as you’d take of your own kiddo? I thought so.
How can you take better care of yourself this week? Would it be more hot tea? A nap? An exercise routine? Or maybe it’s about taking little steps to create the life you dream about. Isn’t that the best care you can take of yourself? Nurturing your dreams?
Reach An Ideal
One of the things I see often is people putting off their life until they reach an ideal. I can’t take dance lessons until I lose weight. When I make enough money, I’ll be a total philanthropist. We dream up a life as if we’re not only living the only one we get.
We have this fallacy that we have to reach an ideal to be who we want to be. As human beings, we often fall into an all-or-nothing trap where we procrastinate and do nothing because we can’t do it perfectly yet. It’s like saying “I can’t afford a Ferrari, so I just won’t buy a car.” It’s an excuse that allows us to stay comfortable saving the scary stuff for “later” when we’re “better prepared”.
This is a lie that cheats us out of lots of memories and just stops us from getting started. We can start small, but we do have to start. So maybe you really want to be a “zen” person who is able to relax and accept whatever comes their way but you can’t afford time off to go to a retreat. Where can you start? Can you find videos on youtube? There’s a lot you can read at a library or online. Clear out 10-15 minutes a day to try or learn meditation. Maybe you want to be a world traveler but you’re flat broke. What about planning vacations for someday?
Watching documentaries? Taking small local trips? How can you support your dream where you are today? Not where you’ll be if/when you get to where you want to be. Today. If we wait until we’re flexible and strong to start practicing yoga, we might never begin.
Practice being terrible at things! We hate it so much as human beings but it’s truly important to our growth. We have to be comfortable knowing that we’re new to something and it’s okay to be bad at something.
To get the life you want, you have to be vulnerable. You have to reach outside of your comfort zone. And it may be in little tiny steps and just for little bits of time and that’s okay. It can start small, it just has to start.
Give yourself the gift of moving one step closer to the person you want to be. This might very well start with clarifying who you want to be. Take a look at your values. What’s most important to you in this world? How do you want others to describe you? What do you want to be the guideposts of how you live your life? Once you determine these, it’s easier to start to think about what sort of things back them up. If adventure and growth are two of my values, maybe I spend my spare time looking for free seminars or cheap adventures until I have to funds to support experiences I’d really love to have.
Stop thinking if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth it. It’s a stepping stone. You’ll be proud of the steps you’re taking. The bigger the gulf between our ideal values and our lived values, the more miserable we are. If I value nature and I spend all my time scrolling Instagram until I can afford a big house on five acres, I’m going to be upset. Would I be happier if I go for a hike, volunteer at a nature park/conservancy/community garden, etc? Probably.
So take some time this week…think about what your next tiny step might be. If you need some help finding clarity, I’m here. Take care, dear souls. Take care of yourself by living up to your potential and starting to align with your values.
If you need help moving forward, let’s connect. I’d love to hear what is holding you back in the comments.
Perspectives Therapy Services is a multi-site mental and relationship health practice with clinic locations in Brighton, Lansing, Highland, Fenton and New Hudson, Michigan. Our clinical teams include experienced, compassionate and creative therapists with backgrounds in psychology, marriage and family therapy, professional counseling, and social work. Our practice prides itself on providing extraordinary care. We offer a customized matching process to prospective clients whereby an intake specialist carefully assesses which of our providers would be the very best fit for the incoming client. We treat a wide range of concerns that impact a person's mental health including depression, anxiety, relationship problems, grief, low self-worth, life transitions, and childhood and adolescent difficulties.